tension studying.

i dont know what am i going to do with my life, what am i going to be in 10 years time. Am i going to be a dentist which my parents want me to be, or it is a fashion designer where i desired since ever. i really do love art than science. i love to make ppl happy by designing clothes for ppl or being a stylist, making ppl looks even better, rises their confidence. that's what i do apart of my time in college. however, im studying science where i had to learn biology, maths, chemistry n physics(bloody hell, i hate physics). that's why i love to wear pretty n comfortable clothes (for me) to class cuz i dont what to rise my tenseness trying to understand what the heck is the lecturer mumbling about.

i'm so amazed looking at my friends got higher marks than me in their tests. im so ashamed with myself with them n not to mention my parents. i dont really want to let them down. but sometimes the make even more tense. im thinking of pursuing my studies in dentistry after completed the foundation. the reason is because dentistry's considered like art for me (and satisfying my parents) cuz i can also make ppl happy by furnishing, whitening, altering their teeth to get better results, better looks. n doesnt involved death hopefully. that why i cant be a doctor cuz im not a calm, skillful, cautiously person. i could easily get traumatic if i am the reason of someone's death. if i cant study fashion, at least i can do something in science that can satisfy other ppl. thank god i didnt accept the offer that i get to pursue my studies at Mansoura Uni in Egypt. well i cant get great results in Malaysia so what would i expect to happen in Egypt then.

last time, i sat for my tests. i got hysterically bad result in Biology. it's not like i didnt study. it's juz that im studying in the last minute. so it became chaos. well as u can see in my Spm results, im so dumb in biology n physics. so tense.

i really need someone extremely genius to guide me in improving my study skills. perhaps my lecturers? one of my friends? even my parents dont really help me up! how am i goin to survive in the world flooded with humongous amount of geniuses. i wonder how did they studied..

am i still in 'malas' syndrome? 'beranganbanyaksangat' syndrome.?

someone shoot n help me up plz.