sadness within happiness

first, i was super ecstatic that i already received my JPA scholarship!!!

hooraaayyyyy!

i checked my account in an early morning.

 at first only Lina decided to check hers' up

and im not cuz i dont really think that it had been tranferred into my account yet.

but then there's this medical student, Mir, was like shouting, saying, "wey! duet da masuk ohhh!"

and i was like "weyhhhhh tak bole jadi nii!!!!!!"

then i used the deposit machine at the Bank Islam and checked my balance.

few seconds later, bang! RM5725!!

well my previous account was only RM80.

haha i noe. how pathetic.

so my first spend,

i bought a lot of stuff from PC fair at the Stadium Malawati!!!

will posted out the pics later in this same post cuz i used my mom's lappy.

mine was "sick" again.

cause from the lemonade incident i guess.

it started to create a lot of probs now.


*Oh ok, am uploading the pic now. already used my own lappy.

* these are the items that i bought at the pc fair..hehe

these are my needs not something that i bought just for nothing.heheh

as for the sadness part, oh yeah i am now.

i was like quite stressed out because of my final exam is coming up and there's more than 100 topics to be cover up.

and also about this thingy.

i was like really upset about this situation.

the situation is VERY different.

with what i felt and etc...

perhaps i am not important now.

so i had to make myself busy and always be happy with my daily life,

and NOT thinking about this.

i noe it's hard.

but i have to.

if not, i'll be tearing up.

cuz i hate this.

plus my family gets angry with me for spending my scholarship money for a Nikon camera,

it's my money. i still want to spend it some for my own desire.~_~

seriously, my condition becomes worsten.

i cant even express my feelings to my BFF.

she's been busy all the time.

and also my dentistry BFF's, cant really spoke to them about this.

i am more forward on express it out on my other BFF, Zaty

she noes me better.

so i wont be awkward for talking to her about this.

with all these, i have to make myself SUPER SUPER BUSY all the time.

and not thinking about this in every moment.

Dear Allah, please gave me strength to endure this. I cant stand this. I felt like people are leaving me, more and more. Please help me dear Mighty Allah...

Right now, i have nobody for me to express my feelings and thoughts.

but only with

praying, blogging, facebooking, SOBBING, anatomying, biocheming, pharmacoing, microbing...and so on.....

i noe, my life is not perfect or happy like other people.

all i can say, i hope Allah will gave me MUCH much more happiness in the future insyaAllah...

Amiin...~

XOXO <3